After my big brother David fell from a mountain peak in Colorado eleven years ago, I became consumed with the loss, with his life, and especially with extreme sports and outdoor adventure stuff because it was what consumed him — and what killed him. It haunted me. It haunts me still.
I've always had an aversion to the word precious. It sounds fragile and cloying in my mouth, like the way it's used to talk about cute babies: “Isn't she presh-uss?” There is something nose-raisingly snobbish about the word when it describes jewelry: “Made with only precious stones...” But the adjective is defined by Merriam-Webster as... Continue Reading →
It's almost my birthday, and my mother needs ideas for a present. She loves books and book-shopping, so I go straight to my Goodreads list, thinking, Easy! I'll just grab two or three titles and email them to her. There are currently 98 books I've earmarked as “Want to Read” on my virtual bookshelf there.... Continue Reading →
For many years, I had the recurring dream that I had to go back to college — specifically Hampshire College — where I met my future husband and countless, enduring friends. Each iteration of the dream was a little different: I had the same roommate, but we had to find beds in a giant open... Continue Reading →
Suddenly I'm surrounded by amazing women who have had their lives “go pear shaped.” That expression, which my husband picked up from his English bandmates, loosely means that the best laid plans have gone terribly wrong. Right now, many of my female friends are dealing with some really tough shit: A divorce, the aftermath of a... Continue Reading →
Last weekend, my husband Peyton and I flew to Denver for a special occasion. I had reserved a small SUV rental, knowing where we were ultimately headed—south past Colorado Springs and Pueblo, then west to the small town of Alamosa, and really, finally, to the Sangre de Christo Mountains, where several 14,000 foot plus peaks... Continue Reading →
At first I was curious about why or how anyone even noticed a female orca in the Pacific Northwest carrying her dead baby. I figured it must have been a random sighting and, concurrently, a random demonstration of animals expressing grief. Simultaneously, I wondered how a sea animal “carried” something at all. By the time... Continue Reading →
I said to a friend at a party recently, “I would never have chosen to write about this subject, you know. The subject chose me.” I'm grateful I've been able to do something productive with my compulsive literary musings on death, loss, and grief, hopefully turning them into something helpful or poignant. While it certainly... Continue Reading →
Since when did everything have a “day”? I blame social media for ensuring that not just regular birthdays, death anniversaries, and every other family-oriented holiday on the calendar, but even more days of the year, now pain me. I admit I'm particularly sensitive to this one, and I don't mean to be all triggery. Having... Continue Reading →
