Me and David on his birthday in 1977 or 1978, I think... Every year on this day, I celebrate the fact my big brother was born. And I mourn the fact that he isn't growing any older, since he died almost 15 years ago. Today, David would have turned 62. Sixty-two! An age that, when... Continue Reading →
Open love letter to my friends, and all friends
Wow, what a time to be alive, and afraid, and also so clear. The pandemic has made all of us reevaluate what matters to us, and what we really can't do without. I can't do without my friends. I wouldn't be able to survive this seemingly endless pandemic halfway sane without them. Jena, Karen, and... Continue Reading →
Messages in my bookshelf
I am going through my books. A lifetime of books, I want to say, although this is not quite true. My adult books, I guess — though that sounds like something it's not! — largely from college and beyond, though there are a few childhood ones that have traveled all the way to my grown-up... Continue Reading →
What makes this year unforgettable?
After thinking about a short piece for a long time, which I envisioned being called “10 Things 10 Years After Your Brother Dies,” over the summer I finally wrote it and Modern Loss — a platform I appreciate so much — published it. I loved working with Gabi Birkner, a compassionate, smart, and intuitive editor... Continue Reading →
What does your bookshelf say about you?
It's almost my birthday, and my mother needs ideas for a present. She loves books and book-shopping, so I go straight to my Goodreads list, thinking, Easy! I'll just grab two or three titles and email them to her. There are currently 98 books I've earmarked as “Want to Read” on my virtual bookshelf there.... Continue Reading →
On Retreating
retreat noun re·treat | \ ri-ˈtrēt \ 1 : an act or process of withdrawing 2: a place of privacy or safety 3: a period of withdrawal for prayer, meditation, study, or instruction For five days, I woke not to the alarm on my phone, but to sun pouring into my room at dawn accompanied by the musical conversation of birds in a gingko tree outside.... Continue Reading →
Find your tribe
I've been thinking about the idea of community a lot. There is so much in life that makes us feel separate, other, and alone that finding a tribe of people that makes you feel included, valued, and understood is worth a great deal. This is why clubs, churches, teams, and such exist, I'm sure. Though... Continue Reading →
I didn’t want to write about this.
I said to a friend at a party recently, “I would never have chosen to write about this subject, you know. The subject chose me.” I'm grateful I've been able to do something productive with my compulsive literary musings on death, loss, and grief, hopefully turning them into something helpful or poignant. While it certainly... Continue Reading →
Open Tabs (not the bar kind)
I read an article about taking a day off for rest. Another about why we should spend time doing nothing. I save a quote about how I am not being behind schedule to reassure me, even though I know I am always behind schedule. Another: “Reduce the noise; focus on the essentials.” I save a... Continue Reading →
Baby Dolls vs. Stuffed Animals
Today I read a story in a back issue of Creative Nonfiction magazine by Brenda Miller that revolved around the National Toy Hall of Fame (who knew such a thing existed?). Though Miller wrote about all kinds of memorable toys—Etch a Sketch, slinky, Legos, and the like—there was a significant focus on dolls, as they seem... Continue Reading →